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The howl

They know that everything will definitely go well for Nicola Sturgeon when the white knight heroically rides in their defense … [checks notes twice] Duncan Hothersall.

We are very excited to see what our secret plan is.

(At this point we apologize to readers for the late arrival of the typically great Chris Cairns cartoon this week, which arrived on time from our hardworking crayon, but which we put on hold for a short while while we were over it report Last night’s great groundbreaking story and its immediate aftermath. Now for the show.)

Viewers can only speculate as to why a frenzied unionist like Hothersall would be so keen to keep the First Minister in office. But, as this page has pointed out for much of the past year, you don’t have to believe Alex Salmond or ourselves to learn the truth about the Scottish government’s failed entanglement of the former SNP leader. You can see it for yourself with a click of the mouse.

because the Scottish Government itself Has already published The evidence to show that Nicola Sturgeon definitely lied to Parliament about what she knew and when. She repeatedly insisted in the Holyrood Chamber and in the press that she knew nothing until a meeting with Salmond at her private home in Glasgow in April 2018, and the Scottish government stubbornly stuck to that story in FOI inquiries a few weeks ago firmly .

However, the Scottish government has also made public the fact that Sturgeon actually knew days before of a meeting that was taking place not at her home but in her office in the Scottish Parliament (which, despite being earthy, she strangely claimed to have forgotten). harrowing revelations about her friend, colleague and mentor of over 20 years).

There is nothing to believe or not to believe in these facts. They are simply the facts as agreed by all parties in the dispute and written on the public record. What Sturgeon said to Parliament wasn’t true, and she knew it wasn’t true.

(And finding a wrong date is no trivial matter. The initial lie was supposed to cover up another ministerial code violation that was self-made to hide a conspiracy and protect the identity of a conspirator. The problem with lies is that You have to tell two more lies to hide the first, then four more lies to hide those two, and so on, until pretty much everything you say is a lie and none of it matches.)

Something else that is on the public record is that Alex Salmond has been found innocent by a judge and a jury of his colleagues for bringing every single charge of wrongdoing against him. But you wouldn’t know that today from the Twitter accounts of some SNP MPs.

But the reality is No Women were “abused” by Alex Salmond and he never “admitted” anything like that. The predominantly female jury found all of the women’s allegations false. It doesn’t take “courage” at all to tell lies behind a shield of anonymity, knowing that no matter what the verdict, you will be protected.

We wholeheartedly agree with Blackman that they should not be “silenced”. They should be forced to respond for their false accusations from the dock of perjury trial and Blackman should face a libel suit.

Other SNP numbers had a different explanation for events.

Ah, of course. Everything is as you imagine it! (Though, as an aside, we should note that we’re pleased that Cllr Hunter is at least recognizing the existence of women as a concept again.)

Perhaps it would have been better if her tweet this morning had ended with the word “objective,” as reasonable readers might think the second part was an obviously absurd line against a man who called Nicola Sturgeon for the role of first For years, Ministers has cared for people who have supported and defended her in this position for a long time. But it’s what you’re supposed to swallow anyway.

Some other stupid people even took dumber angles of the same game.

Hmm yes. Scottish Tories hate female leaders. Makes sense. We suppose that must be why the Scottish Conservatives were only led by women 14 of the last 15 yearsand also why every Prime Minister Britain ever had was a Tory – one of whom most of the party still revere the party as a goddess 30 years after leaving office and eight years after her death.

Pension Pete had its 2p value of course (although we want to change from that 2p):

This is a particularly strange post. Who could he mean by “someone else”? Alex Salmond was acquitted in court for improper conduct and now only works with an investigation by the Scottish Government, like any good citizen, so he can’t be.

And even the normally astute academic Aileen McHarg had fallen to Wishart’s level on the same subject in dismay.

If Nicola Sturgeon is overthrown on any of this, it is specifically because SHE committed a conspiracy to arrest an innocent man and SHE lied to Parliament about it. Nobody else made them do these things. There is no such thing as “injustice”. Alex Salmond was brought to justice for the allegations against him by a jury who (unlike McHarg) heard all the evidence and acquitted him. The rules should be the same for sturgeon. If she hasn’t done anything wrong, she shouldn’t fear the truth will come out and she and her government should stop hindering her.

And it probably goes without saying that Scottish political twitter wouldn’t be Scottish political twitter if we weren’t somehow responsible for everything.

And obviously, as always, the trans activists have tried to do everything about them because nothing has ever happened in human history that doesn’t really deal with trans people:

(No one has ever asked Sturgeon to “protect” Salmond from anything. She was rightly warned that an investigation was being conducted in a totally unlawful manner, and she was offered several alternative ways to deal with the complaints, none of which would have been in any way prevented the women from going to the police later.)

But the most common abandonment of the intellectually below average was this:

And of course that’s idiotic It wasn’t Alex Salmond who initiated one of the current inquiries. Both were Nicola Sturgeon’s only creation, and Alex Salmond can only give them answers when asked to.

Both examinations have to present their results prior to the election, for amazingly obvious reasons. So he has to somehow hold back his evidence until a particularly special level of stupidity is reached after that, but it was still in the dumber regions of social media last night and this morning of people whose brains are now sprinting in a desperate and abandoned attempt to catch up with their fingertips.

We could spend all day quoting moronic responses like the one above to last night’s news and we still wouldn’t have scratched the surface. But we can tell you so much: get used to it, folks, because the storm has barely started.

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